Sue's notes to self

Why? Quite simply because getting from A to B these days is fraught with difficulties, mainly in the form of ROADWORKS! If I had a fiver for every ‘Road Ahead Closed’ sign that has gone up recently I would be almost a millionaire. (Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration, but you get the picture). As usual during the long school summer holidays there seem to be more, maybe because they think nobody goes anywhere. That blatantly isn’t true, they just go at different times.

Where I live there exists a rather strange road system. The town/village is split into several areas, as the town has grown towards the village in one direction and over the other side of the railway line in the other. Getting from one part to the other is awkward at the best of times, but as they shut off the only road that takes you to one area it has been worse. What is usually a two mile round trip to one of our churches is currently six miles. I have to go out of town to get there, but I can go the usual way to get home. (It’s hard to explain – take my word for it!) It should be finished by the time the schools go back but……

Then there was the sign that suddenly arrived, without notice, at the top of our road. It isn’t entirely true, as the roadworks have traffic lights to let people through. Except when they had to close the whole road because of the burst water main.

Did I mention that we have loads of those? Even when it hasn’t rained, water gushes all over the place. Recently the main road into town was closed for just that reason, with two holes in the road. I tried multiple ways around it, each time hitting the rest of the traffic also going that way. At least I believed the signs. Those who didn’t had lots of fun, including lorries having to do three point turns in what is a single carriageway road. Not sure which way they went after that, because only one of our roads is a proper dual carriageway. That takes you to the long way round, which people try to avoid. I could say it served them right for taking a short cut round our way.

Gasworks have been the bane of the motorists’ existence for several years now, and you begin to wonder if they will ever finish. I really thought they had done the main road in question before. I am firmly convinced that roadworks have several phases. One lot of contractors put out the cones and signage. Another set dig the hole. Then the men fixing pipes or cables do their stuff. When they have finished the hole diggers fill in the holes. There may or may not be different people to do any tarmacking involved. Only then do the first lot collect their cones. I may be wrong of course, but that is what it seems like, and adds days or weeks onto each job. All these people want summer holidays too, you know.

Sometimes random cones appear, making even dual carriageways with multiple lanes slower than usual. It is amazing how easy it is to make our neck of the woods come to a standstill. Several times I have witnessed this, without ever finding out what went on while I was somewhere else. Was there any work done, or was it a training exercise in cone deployment?

So that is why I want to teleport, to avoid having to use the roads at all. I even wrote a rhyme about it. And I haven’t even mentioned the potholes!

If only I could teleport I wouldn’t have to worry.

I’d always get to where I need without there being a hurry.

If only I could teleport I wouldn’t get to stray

while following diversions that go the other way.

If only I could teleport I’d always be on time,

Not greeted by disapproval as if it was a crime.

If only I could teleport think of what I’d gain.

No need to even have a car or get caught in the rain.

If only I could teleport my journeys would be quick.

I’d just think of where I’m going and be there in a tick.

If only I could teleport I could live wherever I please,

And still visit all my favourite haunts, I’d get there with such ease.

If only I could teleport but sadly I cannot, 

So I’ll have to learn more patience round the roadworks and the lot…..

Sue, August 2025