Sue's notes to self

Any of you who have ever owned a cat will know that they can be relied upon to either amuse or frustrate throughout the season with their antics.

The first challenge is decorating the house. I do this a bit at a time so that I can find spaces to put things where they cannot reach. Over the years many decorations have been left in the boxes because of lack of unapproachable shelves. This year I bought an advent calendar that came in the form of nativity figures which you made up each day from cardboard cutouts. They were suitably fiddly and easily came apart – or should I say easily played apart. After the donkey, the cow, the sheep and the lamb had been beaten up I decided to put the ever increasing crib scene somewhere they (Darcey) could not reach, but also was not as effective in terms of display.

The tree is always the last to go up, as even its appearance indoors leads to hoards of cats (well, both of them) lining up for a good chew on the branches. It may be artificial but it’s still tasty, obviously! At various times over the couple of weeks it is up there will be somecat chewing it, batting the baubles, scruffing up the tree skirt and sleeping under it. It takes ages to remove the fur from the tree skirt, as it is felt and therefore particularly attractive. It had been a few years since anyone had attempted to climb it, being as the cats are not kittens any more. This year Dooky had something of a wizzy fit and shot up there, only to find he did not know how to get back down. The photo has been much admired.

I blame the catnip. Talking of which, when I was wrapping their new catnip toys I had to quickly take away the bags they were in and then hide them completely away. I have had previous experience of parcels through the door being torn open to get the toy inside, before I could even get downstairs. Funny how when you give them their present (only a cat lover would do this) they suddenly cannot open it. If you had left it under the tree you know it would have been obliterated in minutes. Anyway, they loved them, especially Darcey, who proceeded to grab all of them and refuse to share. Why do I do it, you ask? Well, only a cat lover would understand another crazy cat lady. They are family too (and at least we get to see them at Christmas).

I am lucky, in that my cats do not like turkey or chicken. Fish now, that is different. Tables have to be investigated so woe betide if you put out the (mandatory) prawn cocktail starters and walk away. I have learned never, ever, leave a laid table unattended.

Being perverse cats like to play with wrapping paper when you are wrapping up the presents. When you want to entertain them with the paper after it has been removed, are they interested? Hardly at al. After kittenhood it becomes just too much bother. Getting in the way is okay, but that takes very little effort.

The result of this is that we have no problems sticking to decorations having to be away by Twelfth Night. Pretty as it all is, the hassle of constantly removing cats from where cats should not be, of holding your breath every time they go near a precious ornament, of watching candle flames (if you are brave enough to have any real candles) and of guarding anything you have been given that might be breakable, toxic or even remotely attractive to a cat, is enough to make you put all away speedily.

It makes you wonder if there was a cat in the stable when baby Jesus was laid in the manger. If there were mice, which there often are in stables, then there will have been cats. There are even a fair number of stories of the animals that watched the birth of Our Lord, usually with a cat. I wonder if Mary and Joseph had to keep watch to make sure the cat behaved? I reckon they must have, unless the cat was not your usual cat.

Sue

December 2023